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America Needs Pizza!

The United States of America is in crisis. We’re so politically polarized that we can’t seem to stop yelling and screaming at one another. Trump supporters think Biden supporters are pure evil, and vice versa. Pro-lifers think pro-choicers are cold-hearted murderers, and pro-choicers think pro-lifers are theocratic totalitarians. Ugh.

We used to be able to get along. We could disagree, but still like each other. We could hang out and have a good time anyway. We could eat some pizza, have a beer, and talk. Americans used to understand that you can love, respect, and even befriend somebody who holds beliefs that you really, deeply disagree with. We’ve lost that. But we can get it back.

Let’s stop acting like mortal enemies. Let’s acknowledge that we all want what is best for this country, even when we disagree passionately about what that means. Let’s start being friends again.

The obvious starting point for a national reconciliation is pizza. Everybody loves pizza.

The National Pizza Party

A National Pizza Party will be held each year on the day after the November elections. In 2024, the party will be on Wednesday, November 6!

The day before, some Americans will have voted for Democrats, some for Republicans, and some for independent, third-party, or write-in candidates. There will be winners and losers. So it goes.

If your side wins, don’t gloat! If your side loses, don’t get mad!

No matter what happens, order (or make) a bunch of pizza. Share it with your friends and neighbors. Share it with Republicans and Democrats. Share it for no better reason than this: It’s nice to share.

Suggested Rules

  • Pizza is for everybody. If you decide to participate in the National Pizza Party, don’t be exclusionary. Everybody is welcome. Whoever shows up can have some pizza. You’re sharing for the sake of sharing.
  • You can limit the number of slices. It’s up to you how many pizzas you want to buy (or make), and you can decide how many slices-per-person to offer…but don’t play favorites! Be radically equitable to friends and enemies alike.
  • You can talk about politics, but don’t get angry…NO MATTER WHAT. Somebody might say something that gets under your skin. Somebody might even say something hateful. So what? Listen to them anyway. Be open minded. If you can’t stand it anymore, excuse yourself and walk away…or, even better, offer them another slice.
  • Sit with people you don’t know. Don’t just huddle with your friends and family. Talk to people you don’t know. Go to your neighbors’ pizza parties too. If nearby parties combine into super-parties, that’s great!


  • Why pizza? Because pizza is great.
  • What kind of pizza? It doesn’t matter. Order or make whatever you like. If you’re vegan, get vegan pizza. If you’re a meatatarian, get meat pizza. If you don’t like what your neighbor picked for their pizza, don’t eat it, but say “hi!” anyway.
  • What if America runs out of pizza? That would be terrible…but if everybody is ordering pizza, our blessed purveyors of pizza might run out. If this happens, you can always order or make something else. Anything can be pizza in spirit.